Q: Can the Presence Process help with chronic procrastination addiction and self-sabotage? I am 42 and have studied law of attraction, personal development, time management, setting goals, etc etc etc...Yet, I'm still nowhere near living up to my goals, dreams and potential. It's so painful to live a life of failure instead of a life lived by my talents and passions and mission. I'd rather die and have considered leaving this planet often, when the pain is too much to handle. Can the Presence Process help me to break through this life-long inertia?
A: Yes, but we can also do a little exploring right now. The first step is to consider that chronic procrastination addiction and self-sabotage - as you call it - is also called "ambition". When a cell in the human body becomes ambitious - and tries to do exactly what it wants - we call it cancer - or variety of Latin names.
For a moment I suggest you drop your goals, dreams, and thoughts about what you perceive as your potential. When they drive us into the future, most of these are driven by unintegrated emotional imprinting.
Take a break from ambition.
All this stuff is mental garbage when it comes to authentically realizing the peace already inherent within all human experience. Rather focus on where you are right now within your life. Your life exactly as it is right now, especially what you perceive as "difficulties", is the nutrition you require digesting in order to be at peace within your experience.
While you chase what you think you want, you miss what you already are given - a possibility beyond trying to do something fantastic so you can feel better about yourself.
You are already all you can be, like a seed is already a tree.
Germination of our human seed took place long, long ago. After germination we go through an evolution of experience: We do stuff; we root and extend above the soil. Then we think about stuff; we branch out and spread our leaves. Then we feel stuff; and so our flowering unfolds. And as we graduate, we real eyes the miracle of it; this is the fruiting.
While we are arrogant enough to assume we know the will and means of the gardener, or that we can disregard such a notion, we run around trying to do whatever it takes to avoid the divine task at hand. And we simultaneous manufacture ideas about "our goals, dreams, and personal development". And so we suffer. But this too has great purpose. Suffering also becomes pointless once this purpose fulfills itself.
Everything required is already given for us to accomplish our fruiting - if we are able to just stop ourselves long enough to perceive and receive this.
Your life as it is is no accident. The word accident is the vocabulary of the unconscious. There are no accidents - only consequence. Your life right now has great consequence. We all need you. But not to help us. And, we definitely don't need you to show us how successful you can be as 'a mortal'. Being successful as a mortal had its place, but that part of our journey too is complete. Mortality-consciousness is about to become extinct.
Rather than trying to manufacture something, realize your authentic predicament. You shall never die. Others may perceive your physical departure from this experience - and so think of you as 'gone' - but for you, there is no holiday from life. Life goes on forever AND EVER, amen.
We are so afraid to face this truth. We think one day we can 'retire' . Some of us are secretly glad we are going to die one day. Some of us want to bring this date forward. The notion of 'a death' brings some sense of relief. We want to die one day [just not actually right now] so we can get out of our current relationships, job descriptions, and boring predicaments.
However, physical death does not release us from "wherever we go, here we are". It does not absolve us of the ongoing consequence of running from our discomfort into the arms of anything that promises us relief from having to face this moment.
There is a point in our journey at which this reactive behavior is to become extinct - and we are in this moment.
It is only in this moment that all of this is unfolding. It is only in this moment we fruit. If we cannot hold our awareness within this moment - or at least intend to do our best to - the fruit is not sweetened. 'The sweetening the fruit' means bringing 'the light of the world into it' - which is the sun of our unconditional beingness.
This means deliberately stopping, turning within, and facing the discomfort within our own heart.
And, this is not about perfection either - it is about participation. What we feel now in each moment is where our most important work is.
This is also not about 'getting anything done', but about consciously being in it - as long as it takes.
It is the radiance of our unconditional being that accomplishes anything worth accomplishing. Once we are consciously radiating unconditional beingness into our experience, by feeling it as intimately and consistently as possible - then everything we do is causally activated to bring us into full, fruiting, awareness.
We are finished with 'the group work'. Group work had its place. But now we are to rejoin our authentic group by taking responsibility for our personal experience, no matter in whose company we are in. We are always within the heart of our authentic group - whether we stand among plants, animals or people.
The felt-aspect of our experience is what unites us - not our physical or mental capacity. The heart is the hinge upon which all our inteconnectedness swings.
If you seek success, then become a successful self-facilitator. Tread the road of impeccable personal intent. Be prepared to become a master of picking yourself up, because on this current winding of the home road, we are all continually falling over. Those who appear not to be are in resistance -or at least trying to stop what is unfolding. Falling over is not significant, being prepared to get up and carry on no matter what, is.
You want to know if The Presence Process can help you? This is what The Presence Process makes possible: A way of being responsible in the world regardless of the world's ongoing drama - and in spite of our own.
This is because through this procedure we draw insight from within which assists us to more clearly recognize and respond to what is required for us individually. If I am doing my best to take care of what is required of me - within my current unfolding human experience - then I automatically contribute to supporting you in what is required for you.
This is because the insight about what is required - as opposed to what I think I want to do to make me feel better about myself - is coming from the same source.
When we ride our insight, we ride in harmony with all others who are riding their insight. This brings us in harmony with the gardener. And, whenever we encounter another who is being driven chiefly by their unintegrated emotional imprint, our insight reveals how to respond, not react, to the situation.
An awareness of peace therefore arises within our experience and radiates into the experiences of others - without our fiddling with them or their experience.
But no one pats us on the back for this level of responsibility - because it is seamless. So there is no applause, degrees, and fancy awards. It is internally initiated, not outwardly projected. Some of our best work is done in the rush hour traffic, or alone in our bedroom.
So it all depends on what your intent is as to whether The Presence Process will be of use to you. It won't help you get what you want. What we want hurts us when it is driven by covering up our hurt.
This is one of the reasons why you are restless and hurting now - because of what you want.
What we each individually require is already given. It is what is happening in our life today, it is what is happening right now.
Whatever is happening to you right now is required. From a mortal-consciousness 'point of you' this realization may appear horrific, unkind, and completely heartless. But your current experience is not. It is deliberate. It is divine. And, the word "deliberate" contains the word liberate. And the word 'divine' says "dive in".
Your life right now is intended to liberate you - it is the key to the door your heart is calling you to participate in opening.
It is your sacred work to consciously feel the feelings as given you daily, without getting lost in the attached mental stories - or engaging the projected physical behavioral reactions. This is challenging. Like an art form, it is only mastered through practice - consistency - living it every day without a destination point by which to keep going.
Destination points eventually cause chronic procrastination addiction and self-sabotage.
The Presence Process teaches living responsibly because there is no choice, really, aside from ongoing suffering.
And, the discomfort we have to face within our own hearts is not actually our point of suffering; it's our trying to get away from our current discomfort that manifests the suffering. When we turn inward and face our discomfort consciously, by willingly feeling it as it reveals itself to us in each moment, the suffering part is over. The discomfort continues, and does so on various levels until full felt-perception is installed.
We are approaching this moment of full installation of felt-perception. Every day is an opportunity to integrate more heart-capacity. Each moment of integrated discomfort installs more felt-perception, and with growing felt-perception comes growing insight, and growing capacity to feel the peace already given to us all.
The Presence Process moves our experience toward authentic inner knowing and inner peace, as opposed to more outer information and striving for some manufactured experience called "happiness".
If what is written here resonates with you - give the procedure a try. Let your experience reveal what is true for you. There are many useful integrative approaches to our current human predicament available on the planet right now. The Presence Process is just one - if it does not work for you - be open to encountering an approach that is.