Thursday, August 27, 2009

I cannot get through the tiredness, what do I do?

Q: I understand the essence of TPP to be: you feel your feelings fully, and also feel any resonance that comes up from earlier in your life; eventually, these feelings will integrate. As I wrote to you not so long ago, I have been experiencing periods of tiredness, even weakness, while doing TPP. The gist of your reply, as I understood it, was to feel the tiredness fully. I have tried to do that, and have gone through some definite shifts of consciousness, but still the tiredness and weakness persist -- so much so that I am having difficulty doing my jobs as well as doing my part for the family and the house. I talked this situation over the other day with a friend of mine who is an intuitive healer. She could see that my feelings were not getting released, so she recommended that I consciously release them. I did this (to the violet fire) and immediately felt better. But the tiredness came back the next day. Today I released again, and some of the tiredness went away, but I can feel that there's plenty more left. In your experience, can feelings ever be consciously released, or would you always recommend sitting with feelings and waiting until the periods of tiredness subside? Any other advice?

A: First of all, your tiredness is not tiredness, it is unconsciousness. It is deeply suppressed emotional content - which when surfacing - expresses itself in our waking state as tiredness. So, stop calling it tiredness, because this misrepresents what you are going through.

Everyone to some extent experiences this when processing unintegrated emotion - and as you are testimony to - some more than others. The only way out is through. Which means, keep doing your emotional integration work and calm down about it. It is going to take as long as it takes. Some of our emotional imprints are 1000's of years old, and we, in our impatient, fast-food-mentality, assume we can process them all in a couple of weeks. So, continue your work and be patient.

If you do wish to move more deeply at an accelerated pace - and sincerely feel this is what you require - then go to the link on the menu column of my website and click on "Personal Facilitation". Through this you can find a Transformational Breath Facilitator or one of their workshops where you can be facilitated through Breathwork into accelerated integration. They are an international organization and so will assist you to find someone nearby.

Secondly, there is a difference between release and resolution. Release assists us to feel better, while resolution requires we get better at feeling. Release is screaming into a pillow, while resolution is being with the feelings of anger without any outer projection of them. Release is a deliberate outer expression of suppressed emotional content, while resolution is the conscious containment of suppressed emotional content. Most of us begin with release-work - just to let off some steam and create some breathing room within our experience - and then we move on to resolution and the art of alchemy through containment.

You may still require release - so scream into a pillow once a day for about 15 minutes for about seven days - but do not get addicted to the high of it. It is only release, and although you may feel better afterwards - it will not assist you to get better at feeling.

In your entire question I saw no indication that you are yet aware of the emotional signature underlying your experience of unconsciousness. Tiredness is not an emotional signature. My sense is you are annoyed, which means you are angry. This is most likely because you are a mentally-transfixed individual new to emotional work. Intend to tap into and feel this anger as fully as possible. Underneath it is grief. What you require is a good sob for no reason at all - which will be hard for you as you will most likely currently also want to know how/when/where/what/who and why you are sobbing to allow it to happen. Be patient with yourself.

Also, make sure you have listened to the audios on the website of the breathing technique so that you are doing the consciously connected breathing correctly.

The more mentally-transfixed we are, the more likely we are to feel this unconsciousness as we attempt integration of emotional imprinting. Let go all the thinking about this work. This "violet fire" stuff you talk about, that your healer friend suggested, is called metaphysics - and all metaphysics is simply mental-physics. When it comes to emotional resolution [as opposed to release] it accomplishes nothing authentic, because the mental body is not the causal point of the human experience. It is a great tool to use for release - but nothing authentic comes about when using it in this manner. You can waste your time in the mental realm for 100's of years - or you can stop all the thinking, visualizing [pretending], and all other make-belief stuff the mental body loves and start feeling what is without condition.

The unconsciousness you feel is real. It has come to assist you with integration. Stop trying to get rid of it so as to arrive somewhere else. Be where you are now within your experience as fully as possible - this moment you are in, just as it is, is the portal to all else. While you still try to manipulate it to accomplish something you "want" - you remain stuck.