Do I beam light into my discomfort?

Q: I'm in need of some advice. I'm attempting to heal a physical pain. I've reread the procedure in session # four. I understand the act of sitting in silence and connecting our breathing and placing our loving attention on the pain and discomforting area. But my question is should I be doing something in conjunction with this, like sending healing light to this area? My understanding that during meditation the idea is to empty ones mind of thought, but should I be visualizing healing light descending on the pain area too? Please help me with my concern.

A: First of all, we cannot resolve physical pain by focusing on the physical aspect of the pain. Being with the physical pain without condition is a step in the right direction - however - all physical pain has causality. Its causality is unintegrated charged emotion. Our task is to become aware - not through naming - but through felt-resonance - of the charged emotion underlying the physical pain - and to be with this by feeling it without condition. This charged emotion is the felt-aspect of ourselves as a child still experiencing something which we are unable to integrate. Being with this emotional signature without condition integrates it organically at a pace which is required. The first task is therefore to access the emotional signature - the second task is to be with it without condition. The first task may take some "undoing procedure" - like breathing and wielding our thought processes in a particular manner - until we gain awareness of this causal felt-signature. The second task requires only being. Being without condition is not "doing" - it is not even "undoing" - it is being. While our fixation remains upon the physical aspect of our pain as if it is the causal point of it - we are inclined to want to "do stuff" like beaming light at it from our third eye - or stuff like that...

Because of our excursion through the mental plane of metaphysics [a necessary part of our evolution] we believe that unless we do things like sending rays of healing light from our third eye toward that which we seek to heal, nothing happens. Metaphysics is all about "doing something". This is why I refer to it as mental-physics.

The Presence Process invites us to "placing our loving attention upon the pain". What is loving attention? What is love? In metaphysics love is "something we do", and we have 101 ways of showing ourselves and others how loving we are through all the intricate ways we actively demonstrate love. Yet, the word "love" reveals itself in a word of similar spelling: evolve. To love is to allow evolution. When we love ourselves, we treat ourselves in such a manner that we are freely able to evolve. This means acknowledging that our experience - all of it - is valid - that it is our teaching - and we respond to it in this light. When we love another we allow them to have their own experience so they may fully evolve. We acknowledge their experience as being valid. You know I love you when I validate you by not interfering [entering fear] with you - when I behave in this light.

In The Presence Process we are asked "to love the hurt child within". We accomplish this by moving our awareness consciously along The Pathway of Awareness from the physical, through the mental, and into the hurt child aspect of our experience - the unintegrated emotional charge. We then "place our loving attention upon it". This means, once gaining awareness of this hurting aspect of ourselves - we allow it to be. We validate its experience. We approach it in the light that its experience, whether fear, anger, or grief, is 100% valid. Through allowing it to be - instead of unconsciously sedating and controlling it - it regains the capacity for momentum and reenters the unified flow of the cyclic nature of life as it is in the human realm. It becomes integrated.

Another way of saying "loving attention" is "being without condition". "Being without condition" and "loving unconditionally" are the same. When we are with any aspect of our experience without condition - we emanate a radiance whose vibrational capacity knows No Order Of Difficulty. "No Order Of Difficulty" in the context of The Presence Process means: "Whatever is required to accomplish resolution is made possible". The emphasis here is on the word "require", not "want".

Being without condition is a vibrational radiance which has the capacity to restore any aspect of our experience to authenticity. It provides exactly what is required. Being without condition is love and love is light. There is no light whose purity is more radiant than being without condition. This light is not the mentally generated metaphysical psi-fi light of "doing" we pretend to beam with our imagination from our third eye or heart center. This is the light of unconditional presence awareness which requires no pretence or imagining. What is requires no effort in manifesting. So, when we "place our loving attention" upon our child self - upon the causal felt-aspect of any unintegrated aspect of our experience - we are already bathing it in the purest radiance of light possible.

When we are able to integrate the programmed personality of "God" by integrating our religious imprinting - we real eyes that "being without condition" emanates a vibrational radiance whose Presence and capacity are an emanation of everything God is: Unconditional loving attention. It is not necessary to add to this with imagining. It already is.

"Something" is happening to me - what do I do?

Q: I have to say that this is very hard and that I have already gone through most of my fears I had and whole lot of anger. My whole body shivered like a leaf in the wind when I am breathing, now not so much, is this expected?

A: It is your experience and therefore it is valid.

Q: Also when I am not angry I feel like a helpless little boy completely insecure will this pass?

A: Everything does, sooner or later?

Q: What do I do?

A: Nothing.

Q: I am really not making any resistance and it is almost like there is a current running through my body. I have times of feeling so much lighter but I am almost constantly in some sort of non-ease, and do not feel in any way stable or in control.

A: Be with this without condition. It is obviously required otherwise it wouldn't be happening.

Q: Also my whole body is almost pulsating from my insides to my heart and everything, I change emotions 3- 4 time a day do you have some tips for me to make it easier.

A: This work is not about feeling better - it is about getting better at feeling. So, feel what is happening to you right now.

Q: And maybe the most important question will I know that I have reached some sort of joy stability or ease.

A: I am sorry to be the one to break it to you - but if you are seeking "a destination" - there is seldom any joy. Joy is "a journey" consciousness. Joy arises when we stop seeking to get somewhere other than where we are right now, and when we stop trying to experience something other than what is happening to us right now.

Q: Please tell me what to do.

A: No. But I recommend validating your experience by approaching it as if every moment of it is valid. Because it is.

Have others had success in integrating sexual abuse through TPP?

Q: Have sent email to you before about being hesitant on starting The Presence Process because of being abused sexually as a child, wondering what might be relived... Well, I started on it anyway... The first day of the second session, while walking into a coffee shop, a guy rams right into me and keeps on walking as I repeat ''I Acknowledge my reflection in the world'' Does the sexual abuse issue get worked on with this work? What have other victim's gone through?

A: Yes. And, it is not required to relive any childhood memory - only to consciously engage with the related charged emotion through unconditional felt-perception. Do not be concerned about "what others have accomplished". This is a mentally-driven avoidance and distraction tactic. Only your experience is your teacher. Only yours is valid for you. Only yours contains exactly what you require for causal integration of your discomfort. Only yours is customized for your personal evolution.

Until we embrace our experience as valid - all of it - as our teacher, as deliberately custom-designed for our evolution - progress is slow and and staggered. Embracing our experience as valid neutralizes the victim and victor mentality which eats us from inside out. The Presence Process is designed to assist accomplishing this. However, it is our unfolding experience, exactly as it is revealing itself to us in each moment - which contains all the ingredients, insights, and capacities for liberation from past trauma. Engaging with our experience from this "point of you" is what The Presence Process teaches.

This is what happens when I am breathing...

Q: During tonight's CB I started feeling grief, deep sadness connected to not being able to make my voice do what I want it to....not having the power to change what was happening to me in my childhood...not being able to make it be what I want it to be. My breathing turned into a moan, not stuck in my throat but coming through my nose and resonating in my cheek bones - what I'm trying to feel in singing and what I can't do singing, which is humming. But, the moan is low and I felt the child sound wanting to come through me and that's what's stuck in me, the higher sound of the child's moans and cries. The bridge of my voice is where I'm stuck - moving into the higher sounds. I did make a jerking sound higher which felt more like the angry child...as if I were stamping my feet and making that sound. And when I make that higher sound, my larynx jumps up closing off the air so I'm not open emotionally, either. The rhythm of the inbreath and outbreath brings up these deep emotional feelings. Also, I'm alternating between moving into these deep places and numbing out, avoiding them. Any comment from you would be welcome.

A: Your experience is valid.

Why do I get a headache during the vibrational practice?

Q: Why is it that when I put my attention on my eye center [during the vibrational practice offered on the website] I get an intense headache? Well this go away after I’ve done this technique consistently for a while?

A: Make sure you are not "doing something" - as in forcing your attention to be there. There is no trying or effort or tension when we rest at the eye center. Trying takes us away and causes tension. We be there - not do something to get there. When we close our eyes and are present - we are already at our eye center. No tension is involved at all. If you are getting an intense headache - it is most likely your attention has become "at tension". Make sure your physical eyes are relaxed when your awareness rests at the eye center. The physical eyes have nothing at all to do with the eye center and are to remain completely at ease. Being at the eye center is not about a physical location of the forehead as much as it is about remaining in presence awareness while having our eyes closed.

I am now going to contain myself...

Q: This is not a question, and I will try my best not to let things slide into "cawfee tawk". Rather, this is a little feedback and a sharing of my intention. I've just finished my re-read of "The Presence Process" after my 3rd time through. Also, for the past couple of weeks or so, I've been practicing more containment (including not e-mailing you questions or comments). It was amazing how much more I could see just by practicing a little more containment. It dawned on me that it would be beneficial to go through the Presence Process without continually taking the lid off the pressure cooker. (I'm OK with having done that, because I don't believe I could have done better, but now I'm eager and also afraid to kick things up a notch.) So I am going to commence another journey through the Presence Process tomorrow (Monday), and practice containment throughout. For me, this includes no questions/e-mails to you. And my concept of the journey includes the re-read of the book, so that means around 3 months of zipping the lips. However, I do look forward to visits to "The Presence Portal". I find the Q&A blog quite helpful, and also wanted to let you know that I appreciate the revision of "Consciously Approaching Vibrational Awareness, which seems much more direct now, and that I enjoyed "Navigating Our Experiences", which I read recently for the first time, and which I've shared with another. Your response to this is most welcome, as today is a day of "Pre-Process Completion" for me.

A: Containment isn't something we mentally decide upon - it is an energetic capacity we develop gradually, organically, and because of our projection addiction - something we fail at hopelessly and continuously. Enjoy all your failures - they are stepping stones toward mastery.

I have done the procedures on the website, yet nothing helps...

Q: I don’t understand the process or Alchemy. After listening to your audio's and following the alchemy work for 40 days, it’s been around 30 days, inconsistently. I don’t get that everything I do keeps getting worse, no matter what it is, everything keeps back firing, from small things to major things, I am at a point where I just want to end it, I can not see a way out of this constant misery, loneliness and pain, if I wasn’t so cowardly and afraid I would just end it. What is the point of this? I know my parents were dreadful, I know my childhood was terrible and full of abuse, why have I got to relive everything? And why it is everything I do or try just goes wrong, please don’t say, “read my work”, I already have many times.

A: Your "lack of consistency" is a clue that whatever you are up to is not assisting you to impact your predicament causally. Have you completed The Presence Process experientially? If so, and you are still not clear on what any of this is about, then this work is obviously not for you. Seek elsewhere.

Sometimes our predicament is such that we first require an active release modality before we are able to engage in resolution response. I recommend you contact Judith Kravitz judithkravitz@aol.com at The Transformational Breath Foundation http://www.transformationalbreathing.com/ and ask her to recommend a facilitator in this modality who lives close to you. Through facilitated Transformational Breathwork we are able to efficiently release our pent-up fear, anger, and grief in an accelerated manner empowering us to calm down sufficiently so that we are then able to approach resolution/containment work. It is obvious you are in a very uncomfortable state - and sometimes - while in this "point of you" - a more intense, personally-facilitated approach is beneficial.

Unless we enter this work experientially - there is no authentic progress. This is why I ask if you have actually gone through The Presence Process experientially? Listening to the audios and reading the writings on the website when not entering this work at its causal point - which is The Presence Process - is like standing on the sidelines of a game. We accomplish little on the sideline other than shouting and waving our arms around. Doing some of the given procedures on website, when we have not yet completed The Presence Process experientially, is like training for a game that we are not actually playing. It is frustrating. The game is The Presence Process - everything else on the website supports this causal point.

This is why a structured experiential vehicle like The Presence Process is available - so we have a tangible way of "getting into the game". Unless we get into the game we remain spectators - and this is extremely frustrating - even if we are diligently "working out" via applying the different procedures shared to support The Presence Process.

Sometimes we are afraid to even step onto the field and this makes us angry at the game. The game is what we make of it - but we have to enter it to know this. Your "understanding" about alchemy, or any of this, cannot help you if you have not taken the time to experientially explore the roots out of which this particular alchemy plant grows.