Q: I have to say that this is very hard and that I have already gone through most of my fears I had and whole lot of anger. My whole body shivered like a leaf in the wind when I am breathing, now not so much, is this expected?
A: It is your experience and therefore it is valid.
Q: Also when I am not angry I feel like a helpless little boy completely insecure will this pass?
A: Everything does, sooner or later?
Q: What do I do?
Q: I am really not making any resistance and it is almost like there is a current running through my body. I have times of feeling so much lighter but I am almost constantly in some sort of non-ease, and do not feel in any way stable or in control.
A: Be with this without condition. It is obviously required otherwise it wouldn't be happening.
Q: Also my whole body is almost pulsating from my insides to my heart and everything, I change emotions 3- 4 time a day do you have some tips for me to make it easier.
A: This work is not about feeling better - it is about getting better at feeling. So, feel what is happening to you right now.
Q: And maybe the most important question will I know that I have reached some sort of joy stability or ease.
A: I am sorry to be the one to break it to you - but if you are seeking "a destination" - there is seldom any joy. Joy is "a journey" consciousness. Joy arises when we stop seeking to get somewhere other than where we are right now, and when we stop trying to experience something other than what is happening to us right now.
Q: Please tell me what to do.
A: No. But I recommend validating your experience by approaching it as if every moment of it is valid. Because it is.