Q: After reading "Naked" I realized (or assumed) you know heartbreak, so thought you'd have insight into my question. I am struggling with the loss of a woman who is precious to me. The emotional distress is so intense and constant that I need hardly start TPP breathing before tears of absolute anguish are flowing. As a result I don't know if I am tapping into the deep well of hurt that the breathing is meant to reach, or what is current. They seem interrelated but I don't know for sure. I wonder if the breathing exercise induces feeling the sorrow that is with me now, rather than cathartically digging into what is under the surface. And I also wonder if it helps my pain to integrate quicker or actually prolongs the process of grieving?
A: The heartbreak you have recently experienced is in itself a surfacing of a memory. It is something that has reoccurred in your life previously. It is something passed onto you through your parents. It took your recent encounter with "being with someone you wanted", and then experiencing the loss, to activate and bring this ancient memory to the surface.
It has nothing to do with this person you perceive yourself to have lost. She was simply the Angel who came to cleave this deeply hidden hurt from the center of your heart and pull it out into the light of your awareness. To focus upon her, or what happened to cause this sudden eruption of grief, is to misaligned your attention and intent.
The feeling of grief is your only hope now. Whenever the tears arise - cry. Do not let reasons and stories and self-assessment flow through these tears. Allow yourself to cry because you feel the grief of something deeply ancient that you cannot put words to. Sink into it unconditionally whenever the opportunity presents itself and you will realize, when you are able to let go the story, that it leads from "your grief" into "our grief". It only appears to be your grief while you are stuck in the "y". Let go the "y" of "your" and all that is left is our.
This is not personal - although - for you to engage with it and play your part in the integration of the collective human imprint - it comes to you as something that appears to have deeply personal impact. So cry tears as long as the body and heart gives them to you to cry. There is no schedule here.
The flow of these tears washes you into the realm of felt-perception in which the heart of The Kingdom is felt as a reality. Then the person with whom this heartbreaking encounter occurred is revealed as the Angel sent from within The Kingdom to facilitate your return. Your tears are valid. Honor them accordingly. Whatever it takes, for heaven's sakes.