Thursday, June 18, 2009

Do I have to see those who hurt me as "perfect"?

Q: I am in week 6. I started seeing a therapist before the process, and now I don't know shall I continue. I started using the mirror and being there for myself, but I remember you said we shouldn't make any significant changes during the process. On one hand she's pushing my buttons, but on other she makes me feel good, and I really want to start containing it.

A: Firstly, this work is not about feeling good - it is about getting better at feeling. Having our buttons pushed is useful when we respond to the experience - as opposed to react. I am not going to tell you what to do.

Q: Is it really possible to sit with my uncle and father who verbally, physically and sexually abused me and say they are perfect? How could I know it's not because there is some fear left? Or needing to be loved. Do I need to understand it mentally to move on to the next step? Is it possible to do this work next to them and is it quicker then?

A: Who is asking you to say they are "perfect"? You do not need to sit with them to feel the consequence of your past encounters with them. These felt-consequences are within us wherever we are. By integrating our own emotional imprinting we realize through experience that all are driven unconsciously by childhood imprinting. This teaches us to discern between a person and their imprinting. We are not our imprinting. When we experientially realize this by integrating our imprinting and perceiving the profound consequences, we are able to forgive ourselves. When we are truly able to forgive ourselves through this realization - we are able to forgive everyone - because we are all in the same boat. This work has nothing to do with 'perfection' - it has to do with participation. This has to do with experiential awareness of what is, as opposed to what we tell ourselves based on our imprinted past. Integration requires we do not have to go and sit with anyone who reflects our imprinting [by bringing up an emotional charge in us]. We are only required to be with this emotional charge without condition - which is in us - not them.

Q: There is no such thing as a free will.

A: If you say so.

Q: There is nothing I can do to affect of my life, just accept it (and for past 3 years it kinda sucks).

A: If you say so.

Q: But then I get depressed at how there is nothing I should do, because what's the point, it's going to happen anyway.

A: It will benefit you to read the article, Revelation Of Being on the website. This assists us to discern the difference between doing, not-doing, action, responding, and reacting. Not-doing is not inactivity. The one has nothing to do with the other.

Q: Every time I look at my horoscope, it's all there. I live isolated in a foreign country (UK). I tried to look for work but am paralyzed with fear. So I sit at home, stuck. And, my money will run out in 2 months. Horoscope wise, shit will hit the fan in August. If you have anything you want to share (I read your 2009 letter about where's your water), please let me know.

A: Why do you think its called "a horror scope"? Read Revelation Of Being.