Q: I have at last gone through the Presence Process experientially. However, despite having activated completion I still feel in the midst of the Process. I read through the consequences and felt "I'm not there yet!" Whenever I look inside I feel a deep well of grief and fear which has not (yet) been drained by constantly placing my "compassionate attention" on it. It's as if this grief and fear has been lurking just under the surface all my life, and now I cannot avoid or ignore it. But it does tend to block any feelings of joy. My current life situation is also unresolved. Shortly after starting the Process I had to take my seriously disabled wife to hospital as her condition had deteriorated, and two month's later she is still in hospital, recovering from a second dose of pneumonia, and will now need significant long-term care when (if?) I eventually get her back home. This whole situation has been very effective as a messenger for many imprints spanning all aspects of life, death, health, finance, etc.!! As a way forward I started to re-read the Presence Process book today, and for the first time began to appreciate that I had made some progress towards glimpses of present moment awareness! Would it help to dive straight back into the Presence Process for a second journey through? I have also found it difficult transferring my feelings to an imaginary inner child in order to "Do whatever it takes .....". I have yet to experience any tears. I always try imagining holding my arms out and saying "you can come to me and I will give you unconditional love and approval, no matter what, until what is troubling you passes on." Not being particularly strong on visualising, I'm not sure what else I can do to facilitate this?
A: Yes, dive back in. I am currently busy re-editing the book for a published revised edition. It is five years now since I wrote this book and I too have learnt much about this procedure in this time. What is clear now is that for most of us it takes about three time through the procedure to be able to be with what is without feeling that something is wrong. The experiences you are going through now are what are required for you to resolve these deeply emotional conditions you speak of. As you go through the procedure again you shall go deeper and become more competent in wielding these perceptual tools. What is most important is that you trust your unfolding experience - no matter how it appears to you - as being valid. Nothing is wrong - you have initiated deep processing and now must continue to facilitate yourself as responsibly as possible. By entering the procedure again you accomplish this.
Also, not accepting our unfolding emotional experiences when we move through this procedure, and as a consequence of having done so, as valid, and instead behaving as if things should be unfolding differently, is the same as not accepting the condition of our inner child . This realization is key. Only when we are authentically interacting with our outer life experiences and the emotional states they trigger within us as if they are valid are we simultaneously being unconditional with our inner child self. To say that we are opening our arms unconditionally to the hurting inner child [the unintegrated emotional body], and in the same breath to behave as if our life experience should be unfolding differently and we should not be experiencing so much emotional turmoil, is a contradiction. Your emotional state right now is valid - whether it is fearful, angry, of full of grief. Being with it without condition - as best as you can right now - is the same as being with your inner child without condition.
